This Year's Silver Lining

Christmas will never be the same again for me, and for my family.

You see, it was one year ago on Christmas Eve, that my father walked into a hospital, and never walked back out.

Him and my mom were just going to a normal checkup for his chemo follow up on the morning of Christmas Eve.

All of us kids and grandkids were going to meet up at their house for Christmas Eve, like any other Christmas Eve prior.

Well, almost every other Christmas Eve prior. Two years ago my dad also went into the hospital during the holidays, ended up in a rehab facility worse off than when he first walked in to the hospital, and we spent Christmas visiting my dad at the rehab facility. I felt so bad for him because I knew he just wanted to spend it with us in the comfort of his own home.

But 1 year ago, when we arrived at my parents’ home later that morning and saw that nobody was home, we got a phone call from my brother who flew into town, saying that dad was in the hospital.

Apparently, the nurse said his face looked jaundiced at his checkup and that something looked wrong, and that’s how he ended up in the ER.

Even though, according to my mom, my dad seemed fine, in good spirits and was looking forward to being with all of us.

Well, they ended up going to the hospital anyways, for fear that something was really wrong.

Knowing how my dad felt about hospitals, and knowing what happened last year, I knew this couldn’t be good.

But there are times in your life, you have to let go of the things that you can’t control.

And although I felt this was not a good move, I let go.

My dad has stage 4 colon cancer for God’s sakes I wanted to shout! That’s what’s wrong with him. He’s been struggling for almost 2 years at that point getting poked and prodded with chemo and chemo drugs and suffering from all the effects of a treatment that was clearly doing more damage than good.