Do you know how when you work for a company or someone else, you’re often given a performance review? Perhaps one each year or one every 6 months?
How often have you done a performance review on your life up till now?
Well, 5 years ago, I did a performance review of my life. I was in the process of getting a new certification for my work as a life coach, which led me to really get into a deep analysis of my own life. I saw patterns of when I was feeling my best, completely in the zone, and when I was feeling my worst, when everything that could go wrong seemed to go wrong.
When I was feeling my best, was when I often made choices that seemingly went against what was popular at the time, but felt right to me. For example, choosing a career path that felt so authentic to me, but questionable to others. Or opening up to other options of becoming a mom (like adoption) when we weren’t getting pregnant, while others felt it was a bad choice. Or choosing a partner who did not have a college degree, when others felt it was a mistake.
And on the flip side, I discovered my dark times were a direct result of one of 4 things, or any combination of the 4:
1. Not taking care of some aspect of my whole health. Either my mental state was not in a good place (we call this getting in your own head), my emotional state was out of control, my physical state was lagging, or my soulful state felt crushed. Something was off.
2. I felt alone. My relationships with the people in my life felt like a big void. There seemed to be no one I could talk to about anything hard I was going through. Everyone was busy with their own lives and no one seemed to care about mine.
3. I felt stuck. Things were not working, even though I was trying so hard to make them work. Things were not going my way, and sometimes completely out of my control. I’m not one to give up easily, but everything I tried seemed to fail. I felt exhausted, depleted and hopeless. My life was not evolving in the way I wanted it to.
4. I was stuck in a daily grind, doing the same things and spending 1/3 of my time doing them, more out of obligation and sometimes just for the dollar payoff, but not really feeling like this was what I was meant to do … for the rest of my life.